oh the shame

haven't blogged for ages! Still sticking to the diet, although Sunday was really hard, cooked lamb and a loaf of cheesey bread, and could have demolished the lot, but resisted. At my weigh in this week I had lost a further 3lbs making my total 2 stone 2lbs in 7 weeks. One of the mums at school gave me a photograph, taken just before Christmas and I look huge! And at that point I thought I was looking good as I'd lost nearly 2 stone following the gyms diet. I'm getting braver at telling people what I weigh now, but of course, when they ask how much I've lost, and then do the maths, I'm mortified. Ho hum. Hopefully enough for me not to put it back on. I'm letting vanity lead my time at the moment, and am going to the gym and doing an aerobics class every day, and on Monday I did an additional Pilates class. Tomorrow it's gym, aerobics and a 1/2 hour ab class. I am determined to lose a stone and a half before I have my surgery. Had my hair cut and coloured today and have booked a trim and colour for the week I go to Amsterdam and the same for the week I have my surgery. Slightly (very) bothered about how I'll stick to the diet in Amsterdam, one of the friends I'm going with keeps saying, i hope you're going to eat when we're away, surely one weekend won't hurt, you can't go to amsterdam and not try this, this, and this. The only thing that really bothers me is the practicallity of mixing the soups and shakes, i just can't abide them with lumps! I can actually go to Amsterdam and not eat, eating won't get me to my goal, and me not eating won't spoil her weekend! The pressure won't help tho! I hope to be a stone lighter and hopefully a comfortable 10 by then (I bought a cheap pair of size 10 jeans on Saturday (stretch naturally) and i got them on, it was uncomfortable rolling about on the bed to get them done up and the roll of fat over the waistband was less than attractive, but I got them on nonetheless!) so if I am (a 10) then my pleasure will be shopping! and the museums, art etc etc. Rome will also be a challenge, officially my last week of abstinence, and the problem of mixing the packs again, but when I get back i could start eating. Spoke to my counsellor on Tuesday about the surgery, not sure if I should be eating for a period of time before the surgery, she thinks the advice will be carry on not eating until the surgery, but her opinion is that I'll need protein and iron inside me. I am truly mixed, part of me wants to carry on beyond the 100 days, another 2 or 3 weeks could mean another 1/2 stone, but if I'm eating then maybe my recovery will be better. Ho hum, what a dilemma.
Have been buying clothes on ebay, want to be a yummy mummy, can see myself in Rome in a pretty floral halterneck dress, with a denim jacket and a pair of converse trainers! Have bought the trainers and the jacket, so nearly there.
There's a Bingo and Pizza night at the school on Friday, and I have volunteered to be score keeper, figuring that if I'm busy i won't be tempted, although having not been tempted more than a couple of times over the last 7 weeks I'm hoping this won't be any different :-)