oh the shame

haven't blogged for ages! Still sticking to the diet, although Sunday was really hard, cooked lamb and a loaf of cheesey bread, and could have demolished the lot, but resisted. At my weigh in this week I had lost a further 3lbs making my total 2 stone 2lbs in 7 weeks. One of the mums at school gave me a photograph, taken just before Christmas and I look huge! And at that point I thought I was looking good as I'd lost nearly 2 stone following the gyms diet. I'm getting braver at telling people what I weigh now, but of course, when they ask how much I've lost, and then do the maths, I'm mortified. Ho hum. Hopefully enough for me not to put it back on. I'm letting vanity lead my time at the moment, and am going to the gym and doing an aerobics class every day, and on Monday I did an additional Pilates class. Tomorrow it's gym, aerobics and a 1/2 hour ab class. I am determined to lose a stone and a half before I have my surgery. Had my hair cut and coloured today and have booked a trim and colour for the week I go to Amsterdam and the same for the week I have my surgery. Slightly (very) bothered about how I'll stick to the diet in Amsterdam, one of the friends I'm going with keeps saying, i hope you're going to eat when we're away, surely one weekend won't hurt, you can't go to amsterdam and not try this, this, and this. The only thing that really bothers me is the practicallity of mixing the soups and shakes, i just can't abide them with lumps! I can actually go to Amsterdam and not eat, eating won't get me to my goal, and me not eating won't spoil her weekend! The pressure won't help tho! I hope to be a stone lighter and hopefully a comfortable 10 by then (I bought a cheap pair of size 10 jeans on Saturday (stretch naturally) and i got them on, it was uncomfortable rolling about on the bed to get them done up and the roll of fat over the waistband was less than attractive, but I got them on nonetheless!) so if I am (a 10) then my pleasure will be shopping! and the museums, art etc etc. Rome will also be a challenge, officially my last week of abstinence, and the problem of mixing the packs again, but when I get back i could start eating. Spoke to my counsellor on Tuesday about the surgery, not sure if I should be eating for a period of time before the surgery, she thinks the advice will be carry on not eating until the surgery, but her opinion is that I'll need protein and iron inside me. I am truly mixed, part of me wants to carry on beyond the 100 days, another 2 or 3 weeks could mean another 1/2 stone, but if I'm eating then maybe my recovery will be better. Ho hum, what a dilemma.
Have been buying clothes on ebay, want to be a yummy mummy, can see myself in Rome in a pretty floral halterneck dress, with a denim jacket and a pair of converse trainers! Have bought the trainers and the jacket, so nearly there.
There's a Bingo and Pizza night at the school on Friday, and I have volunteered to be score keeper, figuring that if I'm busy i won't be tempted, although having not been tempted more than a couple of times over the last 7 weeks I'm hoping this won't be any different :-)

small loss

of weight, I mean! only lost 2lbs this week, so am a bit peeved, though it's better than nothing, or gaining, or never starting the diet... You get the message! One more pound and I'll have lost 2 stone, so i really hope to achieve that by next week. I am looking forward to seeing my plastic surgeon tomorrow, but would have been happier if I'd been a few pounds lighter, but I will get there before she makes her first incision!

party!

Had one of my 'rewards' last night, my 'surprise' party, organised by my rather splendid husband. I knew he was throwing a party for my 41st, and I knew the date, but that was all until the middle of last week. I only saw the guest list on the Friday night! What a wonderful night I had! I cooked a huge chilli and Martin went to town on the rest of the catering, and I managed not to eat a single thing, and only drank water, but still had an amazing night. I bought myself the most gorgeous dress from Monsoon, like nothing I have ever worn before, halter neck, satin and floor length. Some of my nearest and dearest came and I think it was a huge success. My children were wonderful and I had many compliments about them, and best of all (call me vain) i had an endless supply of compliments on my weight loss, and comments about how fantastic I looked. It was a huge ego boost and a definite incentive to keep going. Ony got just over 2 stone to go now. Just a little concerned about how I'll manage to lose weight when I start eating again, but know that once my BMI hits 25 (and it's only just overe 26 now) I will have to eat, and not just consume the packs. I'm getting a real buzz out of exercising and really try to do something 5 or 6 days every week, I know I'll look better toned! I went shopping this afternoon and bagged a few bargains. My old denim jacket was ridiculously huge on me, so went to TK Maxx and managed to find a DKNY denim jacket, that should have been £200 for £39. wooohoo! Also bought another pair of size 12 jeans and few funky t shirts, and we're talking really different to anything I would have worn before. I then bought 2 short dresses and leggings to go under them, but not sure what shoes to wear with them. any ideas anyone?
I have made an appointment with a plastic surgeon, to talk about a tummy tuck, boob lift and liposuction. If everything goes to plan (and what can stop it apart from me?) then i hope to have my surgery at the beginning of May, when I WILL have lost another 2 stone and a little big :-). If I plan it just right I will then be nicely recovered to enjoy the summer holidays, and if she (consultant) hacks off enough stomach then I'll be somewhere around 9-9.5 stone. How fabby!! One of Martins friends thinks I should stay as I am, but my BMI is too high and I'm half a stone heavier than the top weight fro my height. Again, sounding shallow and vain, I can only imagine people think I look good is because of the amount of exercise. Still, doen't hurt to be told you're gorgeous, particularly as for most of my adult life I've been a lardy lump!

Had my weekly weigh-in last night

Went for my weigh in and have lost another 3lbs, particularly relieved as I'd put 3lbs on over the weekend, so am actually 6lbs down on Saturday morning, thrilled! So now I have a size 10 to aim for, am a 12 on my bottoms but still a 14 up top, but went to the gym this morning in a lycra'd pair of gym trousers that are a 10-12, could never have imagined squeezing in to them 6 weeks ago. Martin gave me some beautiful yellow and red roses for Valentines, and I'm sure he'll be surprised, when he gets home, to see I've managed to take them out of their presentation cellophane, I'm such a slut they usually languish in their wrappings for days, but as I have time on my hands these days (not making/eating food! :-) ) I have unpacked them. I bought him some chocolately goodies, and a pair of naughty dice, may play with the dice tonight if he's lucky, I'll see what else comes home with him tonight, he's having to really be clever, as he'd usually give me wine or champagne, but my total abstinence means no alcoholic fun for me for a couple more months! I still want to lose another 3 stone, but will review when I've lost 2, don't want to look like a matchstick woman (as if!)

oops, forgot to post yesterday

Bit of a non-day as it was a sunday, did tell my husband that I thought he was drinking too much, and I went to sainsbury's and bought a ton of low-carb food for him and the kids. He's not fat but eats too much crap. He has bought me a mac, which I'm now using, takes a bit of getting used to but has loads of great features. blah blah blah... that's it :-)

saturday

Got up and went to the gym, and then went and bought some water retention tablets, as I'd put on 3lbs. How can that be? I stick to this diet religiously, and then it goes the other way. Now I know I'm likely to retaining water as I'm due on, but 3 bloody pounds, how disheartening is that, and rather stupidly I weighed myself tonight too, and I'm another 3lbs heavier, which is the norm form morning to night, but of course, now I feel crap. The weather is dire, it's throwing it down with rain, and my kitchen in a pigsty. However, my niece found out this morning that she's got into the same secondary school as my daughter, a really tough entry exam, over 1000 candidates sat for 90 odd places, so she's a really clever girl to have got in, so it's not all doom and gloom. But I wish those 3lbs would bugger off over night :-(

progress

I went to the gym for my monthly weigh and measure, completely independent of current diet, and I was actually clapped for my success by other members! I started going to Curves (women only gym) last year but only really started shifting weight since last September, and since then, in 5 months, I have now lost......47 lbs, and 35.5 inches. Oh my! And to break it down further, I have lose 4.5 inches off my bust, 8.5 off my waist, 5.5 off my jelly belly, and 6 off my hips. Each thigh has gone down 4 inches and each arm 1.5 :0) I''ve lost 7% of my body fat. And then I went to my lovely beautician where I had a an inch loss wrap, so I've lost another 13 inches since this morning, albeit temporarily (supposed to last a week, then I'm booked in for another, ready for my birthday part, which I still don't know anything about, apart from the date!
Also had a facial so my face is glowing. Snows started again, and I really really really need some bottled water!