Wednesday 28 February 2007

oh the shame

haven't blogged for ages! Still sticking to the diet, although Sunday was really hard, cooked lamb and a loaf of cheesey bread, and could have demolished the lot, but resisted. At my weigh in this week I had lost a further 3lbs making my total 2 stone 2lbs in 7 weeks. One of the mums at school gave me a photograph, taken just before Christmas and I look huge! And at that point I thought I was looking good as I'd lost nearly 2 stone following the gyms diet. I'm getting braver at telling people what I weigh now, but of course, when they ask how much I've lost, and then do the maths, I'm mortified. Ho hum. Hopefully enough for me not to put it back on. I'm letting vanity lead my time at the moment, and am going to the gym and doing an aerobics class every day, and on Monday I did an additional Pilates class. Tomorrow it's gym, aerobics and a 1/2 hour ab class. I am determined to lose a stone and a half before I have my surgery. Had my hair cut and coloured today and have booked a trim and colour for the week I go to Amsterdam and the same for the week I have my surgery. Slightly (very) bothered about how I'll stick to the diet in Amsterdam, one of the friends I'm going with keeps saying, i hope you're going to eat when we're away, surely one weekend won't hurt, you can't go to amsterdam and not try this, this, and this. The only thing that really bothers me is the practicallity of mixing the soups and shakes, i just can't abide them with lumps! I can actually go to Amsterdam and not eat, eating won't get me to my goal, and me not eating won't spoil her weekend! The pressure won't help tho! I hope to be a stone lighter and hopefully a comfortable 10 by then (I bought a cheap pair of size 10 jeans on Saturday (stretch naturally) and i got them on, it was uncomfortable rolling about on the bed to get them done up and the roll of fat over the waistband was less than attractive, but I got them on nonetheless!) so if I am (a 10) then my pleasure will be shopping! and the museums, art etc etc. Rome will also be a challenge, officially my last week of abstinence, and the problem of mixing the packs again, but when I get back i could start eating. Spoke to my counsellor on Tuesday about the surgery, not sure if I should be eating for a period of time before the surgery, she thinks the advice will be carry on not eating until the surgery, but her opinion is that I'll need protein and iron inside me. I am truly mixed, part of me wants to carry on beyond the 100 days, another 2 or 3 weeks could mean another 1/2 stone, but if I'm eating then maybe my recovery will be better. Ho hum, what a dilemma.
Have been buying clothes on ebay, want to be a yummy mummy, can see myself in Rome in a pretty floral halterneck dress, with a denim jacket and a pair of converse trainers! Have bought the trainers and the jacket, so nearly there.
There's a Bingo and Pizza night at the school on Friday, and I have volunteered to be score keeper, figuring that if I'm busy i won't be tempted, although having not been tempted more than a couple of times over the last 7 weeks I'm hoping this won't be any different :-)

Wednesday 21 February 2007

small loss

of weight, I mean! only lost 2lbs this week, so am a bit peeved, though it's better than nothing, or gaining, or never starting the diet... You get the message! One more pound and I'll have lost 2 stone, so i really hope to achieve that by next week. I am looking forward to seeing my plastic surgeon tomorrow, but would have been happier if I'd been a few pounds lighter, but I will get there before she makes her first incision!

Sunday 18 February 2007

party!

Had one of my 'rewards' last night, my 'surprise' party, organised by my rather splendid husband. I knew he was throwing a party for my 41st, and I knew the date, but that was all until the middle of last week. I only saw the guest list on the Friday night! What a wonderful night I had! I cooked a huge chilli and Martin went to town on the rest of the catering, and I managed not to eat a single thing, and only drank water, but still had an amazing night. I bought myself the most gorgeous dress from Monsoon, like nothing I have ever worn before, halter neck, satin and floor length. Some of my nearest and dearest came and I think it was a huge success. My children were wonderful and I had many compliments about them, and best of all (call me vain) i had an endless supply of compliments on my weight loss, and comments about how fantastic I looked. It was a huge ego boost and a definite incentive to keep going. Ony got just over 2 stone to go now. Just a little concerned about how I'll manage to lose weight when I start eating again, but know that once my BMI hits 25 (and it's only just overe 26 now) I will have to eat, and not just consume the packs. I'm getting a real buzz out of exercising and really try to do something 5 or 6 days every week, I know I'll look better toned! I went shopping this afternoon and bagged a few bargains. My old denim jacket was ridiculously huge on me, so went to TK Maxx and managed to find a DKNY denim jacket, that should have been £200 for £39. wooohoo! Also bought another pair of size 12 jeans and few funky t shirts, and we're talking really different to anything I would have worn before. I then bought 2 short dresses and leggings to go under them, but not sure what shoes to wear with them. any ideas anyone?
I have made an appointment with a plastic surgeon, to talk about a tummy tuck, boob lift and liposuction. If everything goes to plan (and what can stop it apart from me?) then i hope to have my surgery at the beginning of May, when I WILL have lost another 2 stone and a little big :-). If I plan it just right I will then be nicely recovered to enjoy the summer holidays, and if she (consultant) hacks off enough stomach then I'll be somewhere around 9-9.5 stone. How fabby!! One of Martins friends thinks I should stay as I am, but my BMI is too high and I'm half a stone heavier than the top weight fro my height. Again, sounding shallow and vain, I can only imagine people think I look good is because of the amount of exercise. Still, doen't hurt to be told you're gorgeous, particularly as for most of my adult life I've been a lardy lump!

Wednesday 14 February 2007

Had my weekly weigh-in last night

Went for my weigh in and have lost another 3lbs, particularly relieved as I'd put 3lbs on over the weekend, so am actually 6lbs down on Saturday morning, thrilled! So now I have a size 10 to aim for, am a 12 on my bottoms but still a 14 up top, but went to the gym this morning in a lycra'd pair of gym trousers that are a 10-12, could never have imagined squeezing in to them 6 weeks ago. Martin gave me some beautiful yellow and red roses for Valentines, and I'm sure he'll be surprised, when he gets home, to see I've managed to take them out of their presentation cellophane, I'm such a slut they usually languish in their wrappings for days, but as I have time on my hands these days (not making/eating food! :-) ) I have unpacked them. I bought him some chocolately goodies, and a pair of naughty dice, may play with the dice tonight if he's lucky, I'll see what else comes home with him tonight, he's having to really be clever, as he'd usually give me wine or champagne, but my total abstinence means no alcoholic fun for me for a couple more months! I still want to lose another 3 stone, but will review when I've lost 2, don't want to look like a matchstick woman (as if!)

Monday 12 February 2007

oops, forgot to post yesterday

Bit of a non-day as it was a sunday, did tell my husband that I thought he was drinking too much, and I went to sainsbury's and bought a ton of low-carb food for him and the kids. He's not fat but eats too much crap. He has bought me a mac, which I'm now using, takes a bit of getting used to but has loads of great features. blah blah blah... that's it :-)

Saturday 10 February 2007

saturday

Got up and went to the gym, and then went and bought some water retention tablets, as I'd put on 3lbs. How can that be? I stick to this diet religiously, and then it goes the other way. Now I know I'm likely to retaining water as I'm due on, but 3 bloody pounds, how disheartening is that, and rather stupidly I weighed myself tonight too, and I'm another 3lbs heavier, which is the norm form morning to night, but of course, now I feel crap. The weather is dire, it's throwing it down with rain, and my kitchen in a pigsty. However, my niece found out this morning that she's got into the same secondary school as my daughter, a really tough entry exam, over 1000 candidates sat for 90 odd places, so she's a really clever girl to have got in, so it's not all doom and gloom. But I wish those 3lbs would bugger off over night :-(

Friday 9 February 2007

progress

I went to the gym for my monthly weigh and measure, completely independent of current diet, and I was actually clapped for my success by other members! I started going to Curves (women only gym) last year but only really started shifting weight since last September, and since then, in 5 months, I have now lost......47 lbs, and 35.5 inches. Oh my! And to break it down further, I have lose 4.5 inches off my bust, 8.5 off my waist, 5.5 off my jelly belly, and 6 off my hips. Each thigh has gone down 4 inches and each arm 1.5 :0) I''ve lost 7% of my body fat. And then I went to my lovely beautician where I had a an inch loss wrap, so I've lost another 13 inches since this morning, albeit temporarily (supposed to last a week, then I'm booked in for another, ready for my birthday part, which I still don't know anything about, apart from the date!
Also had a facial so my face is glowing. Snows started again, and I really really really need some bottled water!

Thursday 8 February 2007

another day....

hopefully another 1/2 lb :-) We had a reasonable amount of snow today so the kids were off school, luckily my sister cooked for them at lunch time so I had that temptation removed. I went to the gym this morning and had lots of positive feedback, and took myself to an aerobic class this evening, but the instructor didn't turn up, don't know why, the roads were fine, so I took myself onto the treadmill for 20 minutes and walked briskly uphill. I then went to a Virgin Vie party, drank water and black coffee and sat in front of a dish of crudites and dips and totally resisted them, actually, it wasn't even a conscious effort, just wasn't interested. Modelled the jewellery, and that included a couple of choker style necklaces that would have looked ridiculous round my neck even a month ago, bit of rugby players neck then! Have bought myself a couple of pieces of jewellery, have to hope I can fiddle with the catches, as I struggle to put jewellery on myself so it just sits there gathering dust. I think it's because (smug moment) I go to the gym every day and when I get home and shower, everyone else is at work or school so there's no one to ask to do the clasps, oh the joy of having gel nails, they tend to be a bit thicker that your own nails so every little fiddly task becomes insurmountable!!

Wednesday 7 February 2007

late night

Had a good day today, although there was a point at about 6 o'clock when I started to worry that I'd be out of rations and be hungry, but luckily the distraction of my daughter's parents evening put paid to that and I've managed another day. Had my hair coloured (was looking very 'rooty' down my parting and had grey wings) so feeling a bit more glam. Have also provisionally booked some more 'things to look forward to'. A spa day with a couple of friends, and 2 shopping days with friends, one in March and one in April. Have also got another friend interested in another spa day, which may turn into an overnight 2 day extravaganza, for after Easter, in the pipeline, but will finalise the dates for that tomorrow. I know that each thing I have to look forward I will look a little more like how I want to. The weather forecast is predicting heavy snowfall overnight, so Martin is bring in logs for the log burners, but this means he needs to leave the bloody kitchen door open apparently, so am freezing my arse off, will go and warm up in (another) hot bath. I have never been so clean since I started this diet, I seem to spend all my time at the gym then showering and then having a distracting bath in the evening, although I don't need distracting tonight, just defrosting :-)

Tuesday 6 February 2007

Oh My God!

I've just got back from my weekly weigh in and I've lost an amazing 8 lbs in a week, bringing my total to one and a half stone in 4 weeks. I know I won't keep this momentum up in the long term, but what a tremendous buzz. Bought some size 12 trousers (no stretch jeans this time) and they fit like a dream. Just told Martin what I'd lost and good god was his reaction. He keeps having fry ups (skinny bloke can get away with it but I reckon it'll catch up with him one day!) He now wants me to go and watch Battle Star Galatica with him. What joy. Tragically I will confess to watching a series of new Star Trek with him and it was fun, but now he thinks I'm as nerdy as him. At least watching it has several advantages, it keeps me away from the kitchen and therefore thinking about food, and it means, no matter how agonising, we spend time 'together'. Might force him to watch a series of Trinny and Susannah and see how dedicated he is to spending time with me then....

Monday 5 February 2007

Had a fab day! Went oop north to see one of my nicest friends. We were very emotional in a totally girly way and then we shopped, in a totally girly way. Bought some divine bits and pieces, a gorgoeus eau de nil duvet cover and bits. Scented candles, a (rarrr) leopard print belt, a new bra and pants, a whilte leather photo frame ;-) I'm sure there's more but can't remember what! Had to leave disappointingly early as I had some pain in my mouth, and had an emergency dental appointment, and at the grand old age of 41 I have problems with one of my wisdom teeth! Fab. So now on antibiotics, apparently I have to have an infection 3 times before they'll do an extraction, I hope it doesn't come to that, I wimp out completely at the dentist.
My mother-in-law gave me a pair of cute black leather gloves, a voucher for my favourite beauty salon, a box of truffles which Martin is eating and a french manicure set. That was the only thing I won't use, I've had gel nails for years and absolutely adore them. But was thrilled with the voucher and the gloves. Martin quite excited by the chocolates.
My parents have arrived, and managed to tell me that I looked quite porky at Christmas. Odd cos I'd lost over a stone since the last time they'd come up. However they were quite flattering about my subsequent weight loss. They're a bit put out that I'm out all day tomorrow, including the evening, but I seriously think they imagine me sitting in the house all day every day just on the off chance they're going to call in. Thought they were only staying until tomorrow but apparently they're here till Wednesday, good of them to check that that was ok!
Have only managed to consume 3/4 of my allocated food alternatives for today, so will think of something exciting to do with the last pack, probably a frothy coffee, as I've had a soup and a chicken stuffing/muffin thing that was a totaly disaster, but not inedible. Am going to thrill myself with a late night dash to Sainsbury's now as I just don't have time tomorrow and now I'm cooking for parents too I think tinned soup is a meal too few if you see what I mean!

Sunday 4 February 2007

Having a lazy day today, done the usual exciting Sunday stuff, took a load to the dump and did a bit of shopping. Martin cooked for the kids and they absolutely loved it, hmm, bit of a kick in the teeth, have been on a health kick with them since I started the diet, don't want them to end up a porker like oneself :-) and the 2 smallest have huffed and puffed no end, as soon as dad rustles up a tomato sauce, pasta, prawns and scallops they're in seventh heaven! I'm not really offended, but I think the lesson is keep it simple.
He's planning on taking them to the park with dog/bikes this afternoon but my suspicions are that he's fallen asleep in front of David Attenborough (on the TV, we don't really have such a famous guest) which is a shame, cos I planned on catching some zeds while he was out of the way. My in-laws are coming over later with a birthday gift, wonder what it will be....
Tomorrow I am seeing one of my closest friends for 'lunch' so need to go armed with a packet soup and a Tupperware handheld batter mixer and hope it turns out lump free. My parents are coming for the night and need collecting from the train station around the time I was planning on leaving my friends house which is about an hour away, hope they are comfortable with getting a taxi here, although, as they don't have a key, no idea what they'll do while they wait for me. I'm not a total cow, they were supposed to come up last week, then changed it to the weekend and then changed it to tomorrow, so am I supposed to keep a week free just in case?
I have a really busy week, which is a good thing, as it takes my mind off eating! Am seeing another friend on Tuesday, another one Wednesday morning, she's coming for lunch with her little girl who doesn't eat. Anything. That's a challenge I've set myself, find something she'll eat :-) having my hair done Wednesday afternoon, a bit too grey at the mo! And on Friday I'm having an inch loss wrap and facial at my beauticians. I had a course of wraps before Christmas and lost about 18 inches (mind you they measure every conceivable surface so realistically I probably only lost about 1/2 inch off each measurement :-) ) The last facial I had was amazing so I'm hoping she'll repeat the miracle. The wraps are in prep for my big party, the course is of 3 and I'll get 2 in before my big day. I have no idea what the theme is or what I'm going to wear, I have a ton of stuff in my wardrobe that is far too big now, and am giving it all to a couple of friends. My sisters theory is that if I keep it I won't need it but if a gift it away I will, I refuse to bow to that one, I don't want to keep, I never ever want to wear it again, plus I want to make a lot of room for all the delicious new things I will be buying soon.
I bought a pair of boots in the sales, not from my usual fat-lass, calves-like-a-bloke shop, and I tried them on this morning and they zip up beautifully.
Was looking at some photo's of me taken about 14 months ago (in New York so some really lovely memories) and Martin was stunned at the difference in me, particularly facially, must figure out how to post my before and during photos.
Will go and poke Martin so I can catch my snooze too and will add to this later when I know what my gift it (and what my parents reaction is to having to get a taxi, an unneccesary expenditure in my dads eyes no doubt, maybe they'd prefer to walk...)

Saturday 3 February 2007

quarter of the way (weigh) through

This is day 25 of my Lighterlife journey and at the risk of sounding like a pompous wench who is destined for failure it's been relatively easy. Of course there have been days when I could happily skittle my kids out of the way and gorge their dinners, but as the saying goes, nothing tastes as good as slim feels :-)
I refuse to go and buy expensive clothes on my downward route, and have bought lots of cheap clothes and even as I type I'm wearing a pair of Tesco jeans in a size 12, it's a wonderful feeling (and not a painful one which would have been the case even 2 or 3 weeks ago!) I still want to lose at least another 2 stone, probably 3, and have no idea what dress size that would make me but as I haven't been a size 10 since I was about 13 that would be my ideal. I lost weight after I had my 3rd child and was about a stone lighter than I am now, but a completely different shape as I was only a size 14. Conceiving my delightful 4th child put paid to being a 12 that time and I am ashamed to say it's taken my 6 years to get my head round properly losing weight again. I have probably tried every diet known to woman, and am sure I'm not alone, with relative successes. But having always hovered around a size 16/18 this feels (and looks!) good. I have also upped my exercise levels and I know this has helped, it's all a tad more toned than before. My rather wonderful husband is committed to me having a tummy tuck and a boob lift (think spaniels ears) when I'm ready and in 2 stones time I will be! I will be taking advice from my surgeon on what else I could have done, if I still have the bingo wings will probably opt for a bit of lipo. I'm not obsessed and don't plan to turn into a Barbie girl, but having spent pretty much all of my adult life being extremely unhappy with my physical appearance then when I reach my target I really want to love the way I look.
So I have 75 more days to go (for those of you not familiar with the diet, it's 100 days of abstinence, consuming the nutritionally (apparently)balanced food packs in the form of shakes and soups and then foods are brought back in gradually) so just over 10 weeks, and if I can lose 3lbs a week I will have achieved the 2 stone target. Anything more will be a bonus. I will then move into the next stage of the programme to lose the final stone. The past 25 days have flown by and as I have lots of things to look forward to (my husband in planning a party for my birthday, birthday was on Thursday, party is in 2 weeks. I know I can enjoy myself surrounded by lots of my wonderful friends, don't need food and booze to have a ball. I'm going to Amsterdam at the end of March with a couple of friends for a weekend, and at Easter we plan to take the children to Italy for a week.) I know the next 75 should too. I'm hoping my other half will take time off in the summer to go somewhere a bit more exotic and I can swan round in a bikini for the first time in about 25 years!
No idea how to finish so will just bugger off and have a bath!